July 29, 2012

Café Lago, San Pablo, Laguna

All of us get stuck with our feelings at one point or another. But life has taught me that those we should avoid or leave behind are the negative ones, especially anger. How do you deal with anger? Do you fight it? Or do you let yourself be consumed by it?

When it comes to emotional matters, I’m more of an introvert. I don’t jump with joy when I’m happy. I don’t drink beer when I’m heart-broken. I process my emotions, thoughts and observations internally. Most of the time, I’m like a still river, calm on the surface but raging underneath.

For the past few days, not a day in a week passed without someone getting angry with me. Some I guess have misinterpreted my otherwise normal behavior to nonchalant, inadvertent rudeness. I admit, I’m not a saint but I’m not that mean either. Minsan lang hehe. Anger is not bad per se. It is a strong emotion that sometimes needs to be expressed. Being angry is being human. I also get angry every now and then especially when I don’t get what I want, when I feel violated, or accused of something I never did or intend to. But I never let it maneuver my life. At least not anymore. How I wish I could just plainly tell the people who are angry with me right now – “It was never my intention to upset you.” or “I was just kidding.” or “Hold on to anything but anger.”

Flashback 12 years ago, I was in the basement of the Main Library, miserable and looking for a way to break up with anger. This was a time in my life when I was so angry with someone, that it has practically sucked me of all my positive emotions. My anger since childhood to that year snowballed into something I thought I could never handle anymore… until I found an audio tape by some psychologist whose words hit me bulls-eye - “You are angry not because someone made you angry. You are angry because you let yourself get angry.” I closed my eyes and digested what he said. This was like the break-up line I was long searching to ditch my long-time relationship with anger. I was ready to let go.

That day, I learned a thing or two: First, People are responsible for their own behavior and actions but how I react or respond to them, it’s my own volition. I should blame no one. Second, I can let my emotions control me or I can just show them who the real master is.

So the next time you get angry, think of the losses it entails. When you’re angry, you gain nothing, instead you are losing a friend, a colleague or a love one. When you’re angry, you are less capable of loving.  When you’re angry, you are robbing yourself a chance at happiness. And speaking of such, Café Lago is such a place flourishing not only with greens but with happiness.

Pako salad

Cream dory sa gata with mustasa

Fried halo-halo

Promise, this place and that pumpkin by the lake have the power to dissipate all your anger away.
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