The Ritual at the Collective Makati

Nothing hurts more than being treated so badly by the single person you thought would never hurt and leave you. Instead of sulking and feeling mad, why not get even or exact revenge? The following are some suggested rituals.

1. Steal their bicycle and donate it to a homeless man or some random taong grasa.

2. Draw vandals on their wall.

3. Stain their favorite shirt with pure cacao powder.

4. Switch the content of their hair gel with that of dishwashing liquid soap.

5. Do their laundry for the last time and keep the change.

6. Make them a burger infused with lots of hot chili flakes and Bulkan extra hot sauce.

7. Text them with “Sugar you ain’t so sweet!” or “You were never the peanut to my butter!”

8. Drink and mingle with their best friend.

9. Punch them on the face and go get some oregano or salted caramel ice cream.

10. Use “Ey Good Looking” or “Queen of Egypt” soap, tanning oil and some exfoliating silk cocoons. Look and smell so good, so that the next time they see you, they will regret ever leaving you.

11. Let your heart rest. For a while.

12. And pay a visit to Ritual. It is a soothing, nostalgic and classy sari-sari store. Don’t be surprise if you’ll find a note tucked somewhere in the place telling you that sometimes even the wrong choices could bring you to the right places.