One day Siote comes home from school to find one classic question from an anonymous sender in his e-mail:
Who would you choose:
the one you love but who doesn’t love you as much
or the one who loves you but you do not love as much?
the one you love but who doesn’t love you as much
or the one who loves you but you do not love as much?
Siote is still young and inexperienced to answer the question, so he posted it in the cyberspace and got the following replies:
Anaximander: Our world is only one of a myriad of worlds that evolve and dissolve in something boundless. If you choose the one you love, you choose infinitude Siote. And that is like so high!
Parmenides: Nothing could become anything other than it was… like your heart beating only for that one love of your life. You can never dictate your heart who to love Siote because it has its own brain.
Empedocles: There are two different forces at work in nature - love and strife. Love binds things together but strife separates them. Poor Siote, whoever you choose, one force of nature will work against you.
Anaxagoras: The moon has no light of its own – its light comes from the Earth. If you were a dark, gloomy moon Siote, only the one who loves you can give you light.
Democritus: Why do you think Lego is the most ingenious toy in the world? If you think they are easy to assemble, I will spank you! Kidding! Seriously, even though they are all different, they all fit together. Siote do you think you will fit perfectly in the world of the one you love?
Oracle of Delphi: The question is trying to foresee something that is really quite unforeseeable. Whoever you choose, believe in fate Siote. You still have a chance at happy endings, fairies and everything… you know like Shrek.
Socrates: Mankind is faced with a number of difficult questions that we have no satisfactory answers to. So now two possibilities present themselves: Follow what your heart desires and pretend to be happy or shut your eyes and abandon all the chance of true happiness. Whatever.
Plato: I found Mathematics very absorbing because mathematical states never change. In short, choose the one who did not fail in Math 17 Siote. Because I’m dead certain, her love for you will never change like the sum of an angle which will always be 180 degrees. Hmmm on second thought, this will work better if you choose the one who loves you.
Aristotle: A chicken’s egg has the potentiality to become a chicken. So there’s still a possibility for true love to blossom whoever you choose. I mean the one you love might learn to love you or you might eventually love the one who loves you.
The Cynics: True happiness is not found in external advantages… rather it lies in not being dependent on such random and fleeting things like maybe um falling in love. Unchain your worldly desires for the one you love Siote. Don’t be a love climber… choose the one within your reach.
The Epicureans: The aim of life was to attain the highest possible sensory enjoyment. The highest good is pleasure and the greatest evil is pain. But don’t you think it funny Siote, that the one you truly love who can’t reciprocate the equal amount of love you are giving is causing you too much pain. Alanis Morisette was right all along… “Isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?”
Plotinus: The world is a span between two poles. At one end is the divine light. At the other end is absolute darkness. In laymen’s term, choosing between two kinds of love is like dying … you don’t know if you’ll end up in paradise or straight to hell.
A Mystic: Losing the one you love is so very much less than what you will gain – the realization that you are something much bigger. You are a God Siote and you deserved to be loved and revered. Remember, only the one who loves you can make you feel like a mysterious fire that goes on burning to all eternity. Nosebleed.
St. Agustine: Divine foresight directs the love of mankind from Adam to the end of time as if it were the story of one man who gradually develops from childhood to old age. Ask God to give you a sign who to choose Siote. At the same time, pray for world peace.
Thomas Aquinas: Select the one who loves you my child. Man, like a pterodactyl or head lice, has a body and sensory organs. But what separates man from the two? It’s intelligence which enables him to reason things out. Don’t let your heart rule over your mind Siote… because your heart can never rationalize.
Francis Bacon: “Knowledge is power.” Contrary to popular belief, I did say that, not Ernie Baron. Anyway, since you are completely aware of the circumstances in your dilemma, use that knowledge in choosing the one who can make your life happier. May the power be with you!
Newton: If you were an apple Siote, would you choose to stay with the apple tree or let yourself fall to the ground? Let’s say the apple tree is the one you love and the ground is the one who loves you. No matter how hard you hold on to the tree, you will eventually fall to the ground… It’s sad but that is the law of universal gravitation. And it applies even to people falling in love.
Baroque man: Memento mori… so carpe diem! Go get the one you love Siote! Go, go, go!
Laplace: If an intelligence, at a given time, had known the position of all particles of matter, including your heart, nothing would be unknown. You will know how your love story will end. And it looks like unhappy if you end up with someone who loves you less.
Descartes: Cogito ergo sum. You are who you choose Siote… so choose wisely.
Spinoza: Imagine yourself as a plant. If you choose someone you love, you might grow in poor soil in a dark spot. If you choose the one who loves you, you can grow in a sunny spot which has plenty of good soil and water. Remember… you need Vitamin D Siote.
John Locke: Love that can’t be traced back to a simple sensation is therefore false love and must completely be rejected. Practice quality control Siote! Never entertain someone you really do not love!
Hume: Wake up! Little Siote. Wake up! Little Siote. There’s no Santa Claus or genie who can grant your wish of everlasting happiness… because a miracle is against the laws of nature. The one who loves you is the one perfect for you.
Immanuel Kant: The difference between a right and wrong love is a matter of reason, not sentiment. Your situation is not unique Siote. It actually reminds me of Dawson’s Creek, where Dawson was torn between his blonde girlfriend and brunette bestfriend. I’m not supposed to give you an answer Siote but I already provided you with one hell of a clue.
Winnie-the-Pooh: I’m only a small bear and I’m not very clever… but choose someone who can make your life as purely sweet as a honey Siote. Bye… come visit me soon at Hundred Acre Wood.
Coleridge: What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then Siote? I can sense you are a romantic… so pluck the strange and beautiful flower you love.
Kierkegaard: Aesthetically speaking, good is whatever is beautiful, satisfying or pleasant. Be a slave of your own desires Siote. Don’t just date the one who loves you. She sounds boring. And everything that is boring is bad.
Karl Marx: In a capitalist society, only material changes are the ones that affect love. The one who loves you can topple the kind of love you will get from the one you love. Go with the proletariat Siote or perish with the bourgeois!
Darwin: Love is all about survival of the fittest, not the fattest Siote. In choosing, apply the law of natural selection… meaning be natural when you choose. Don’t be plastic!
Sigmund Freud: Don’t repress your sexual fantasies and desires Siote. Be true to yourself because whatever feelings you keep inside for so long will one day reenter your consciousness with vengeance. You don’t want to get caught making love to the one who loves you and yet scream the name of the one you love at the penultimate climax of um whatever you’re doing. Eeew. That, by the way, was a classic example of Freudian slip.
Albert: We are born at the very tip of a rabbit’s fine hairs, where we are in a position to wonder at the impossibility of the trick. But as we grow older and learn to love, we work ourselves deeper into the fur. And there we stay. What I’m trying to say is… in choosing … never settle for less. Choose someone who can take you on a flying carpet across universe of wonders and childlike happiness.
PS. I hope you already found the answers you were looking for Siote because one day I had to leave you.
PS. PS. Siote by the way is just a figment of my imagination who managed to escape my love wrath. And no, I wasn’t the anonymous sender.
Anaximander: Our world is only one of a myriad of worlds that evolve and dissolve in something boundless. If you choose the one you love, you choose infinitude Siote. And that is like so high!
Parmenides: Nothing could become anything other than it was… like your heart beating only for that one love of your life. You can never dictate your heart who to love Siote because it has its own brain.
Empedocles: There are two different forces at work in nature - love and strife. Love binds things together but strife separates them. Poor Siote, whoever you choose, one force of nature will work against you.
Anaxagoras: The moon has no light of its own – its light comes from the Earth. If you were a dark, gloomy moon Siote, only the one who loves you can give you light.
Democritus: Why do you think Lego is the most ingenious toy in the world? If you think they are easy to assemble, I will spank you! Kidding! Seriously, even though they are all different, they all fit together. Siote do you think you will fit perfectly in the world of the one you love?
Oracle of Delphi: The question is trying to foresee something that is really quite unforeseeable. Whoever you choose, believe in fate Siote. You still have a chance at happy endings, fairies and everything… you know like Shrek.
Socrates: Mankind is faced with a number of difficult questions that we have no satisfactory answers to. So now two possibilities present themselves: Follow what your heart desires and pretend to be happy or shut your eyes and abandon all the chance of true happiness. Whatever.
Plato: I found Mathematics very absorbing because mathematical states never change. In short, choose the one who did not fail in Math 17 Siote. Because I’m dead certain, her love for you will never change like the sum of an angle which will always be 180 degrees. Hmmm on second thought, this will work better if you choose the one who loves you.
Aristotle: A chicken’s egg has the potentiality to become a chicken. So there’s still a possibility for true love to blossom whoever you choose. I mean the one you love might learn to love you or you might eventually love the one who loves you.
The Cynics: True happiness is not found in external advantages… rather it lies in not being dependent on such random and fleeting things like maybe um falling in love. Unchain your worldly desires for the one you love Siote. Don’t be a love climber… choose the one within your reach.
The Epicureans: The aim of life was to attain the highest possible sensory enjoyment. The highest good is pleasure and the greatest evil is pain. But don’t you think it funny Siote, that the one you truly love who can’t reciprocate the equal amount of love you are giving is causing you too much pain. Alanis Morisette was right all along… “Isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?”
Plotinus: The world is a span between two poles. At one end is the divine light. At the other end is absolute darkness. In laymen’s term, choosing between two kinds of love is like dying … you don’t know if you’ll end up in paradise or straight to hell.
A Mystic: Losing the one you love is so very much less than what you will gain – the realization that you are something much bigger. You are a God Siote and you deserved to be loved and revered. Remember, only the one who loves you can make you feel like a mysterious fire that goes on burning to all eternity. Nosebleed.
St. Agustine: Divine foresight directs the love of mankind from Adam to the end of time as if it were the story of one man who gradually develops from childhood to old age. Ask God to give you a sign who to choose Siote. At the same time, pray for world peace.
Thomas Aquinas: Select the one who loves you my child. Man, like a pterodactyl or head lice, has a body and sensory organs. But what separates man from the two? It’s intelligence which enables him to reason things out. Don’t let your heart rule over your mind Siote… because your heart can never rationalize.
Francis Bacon: “Knowledge is power.” Contrary to popular belief, I did say that, not Ernie Baron. Anyway, since you are completely aware of the circumstances in your dilemma, use that knowledge in choosing the one who can make your life happier. May the power be with you!
Newton: If you were an apple Siote, would you choose to stay with the apple tree or let yourself fall to the ground? Let’s say the apple tree is the one you love and the ground is the one who loves you. No matter how hard you hold on to the tree, you will eventually fall to the ground… It’s sad but that is the law of universal gravitation. And it applies even to people falling in love.
Baroque man: Memento mori… so carpe diem! Go get the one you love Siote! Go, go, go!
Laplace: If an intelligence, at a given time, had known the position of all particles of matter, including your heart, nothing would be unknown. You will know how your love story will end. And it looks like unhappy if you end up with someone who loves you less.
Descartes: Cogito ergo sum. You are who you choose Siote… so choose wisely.
Spinoza: Imagine yourself as a plant. If you choose someone you love, you might grow in poor soil in a dark spot. If you choose the one who loves you, you can grow in a sunny spot which has plenty of good soil and water. Remember… you need Vitamin D Siote.
John Locke: Love that can’t be traced back to a simple sensation is therefore false love and must completely be rejected. Practice quality control Siote! Never entertain someone you really do not love!
Hume: Wake up! Little Siote. Wake up! Little Siote. There’s no Santa Claus or genie who can grant your wish of everlasting happiness… because a miracle is against the laws of nature. The one who loves you is the one perfect for you.
Immanuel Kant: The difference between a right and wrong love is a matter of reason, not sentiment. Your situation is not unique Siote. It actually reminds me of Dawson’s Creek, where Dawson was torn between his blonde girlfriend and brunette bestfriend. I’m not supposed to give you an answer Siote but I already provided you with one hell of a clue.
Winnie-the-Pooh: I’m only a small bear and I’m not very clever… but choose someone who can make your life as purely sweet as a honey Siote. Bye… come visit me soon at Hundred Acre Wood.
Coleridge: What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then Siote? I can sense you are a romantic… so pluck the strange and beautiful flower you love.
Kierkegaard: Aesthetically speaking, good is whatever is beautiful, satisfying or pleasant. Be a slave of your own desires Siote. Don’t just date the one who loves you. She sounds boring. And everything that is boring is bad.
Karl Marx: In a capitalist society, only material changes are the ones that affect love. The one who loves you can topple the kind of love you will get from the one you love. Go with the proletariat Siote or perish with the bourgeois!
Darwin: Love is all about survival of the fittest, not the fattest Siote. In choosing, apply the law of natural selection… meaning be natural when you choose. Don’t be plastic!
Sigmund Freud: Don’t repress your sexual fantasies and desires Siote. Be true to yourself because whatever feelings you keep inside for so long will one day reenter your consciousness with vengeance. You don’t want to get caught making love to the one who loves you and yet scream the name of the one you love at the penultimate climax of um whatever you’re doing. Eeew. That, by the way, was a classic example of Freudian slip.
Albert: We are born at the very tip of a rabbit’s fine hairs, where we are in a position to wonder at the impossibility of the trick. But as we grow older and learn to love, we work ourselves deeper into the fur. And there we stay. What I’m trying to say is… in choosing … never settle for less. Choose someone who can take you on a flying carpet across universe of wonders and childlike happiness.
PS. I hope you already found the answers you were looking for Siote because one day I had to leave you.
PS. PS. Siote by the way is just a figment of my imagination who managed to escape my love wrath. And no, I wasn’t the anonymous sender.
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